Lincoln has salmonella, I made chicken yesterday and when I wasn't looking he stood up, opened the garbage lid and pulled out the chicken wrap and bit off a piece. I turned around and screamed, called poison control and striped him naked, washed out his mouth, and gave him a bath. He has had diarrhea all day and has been mostly cranky.
The lady at poison control said, at least your kid didn't eat cat poop out of the litter box.
Okay now I feel better.