In August we will have been trying to have another baby for one year. This has been a struggle. When we were trying with Reagan I thought time was standing still, it seemed like everything was taking forever and I would NEVER get pregnant. With Lincoln it took 6 months, just like with Reagan. So, when it didn't happen so easily I knew something was up. But this time, I have had the joy of having 2 wonderful kids to fill my days and to pass the time. I still so desperately want to be pregnant again and to have another child.
This garage sale has me torn up inside. I can't sell the baby girl clothes because what if we have a girl and I can't sell the baby boy clothes for the same reason. And then there is all the baby equipment that one must have that I don't want to sell, again for the same reason.
But, but what if it doesn't happen at all. When do I let go of the baby clothes? When do I pass on the bouncy seat to a friend? Maybe that is the hangup, I need to fully give that to God, to be at peace and realize that we might not have anymore kids. That God's plan for me and for our family is two kids, and Ditka. That's hard to think about. Its already in His hands, it will or won't happen in His timing. But I believe it will happen in His timing, I just wish I knew when that was.
Thanks for listening.