I had anticipated that this 500th post would be a memorable one in that we had an announcement to announce. On Tuesday I was feeling off and decided to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a faint line....but THERE was a line. I had dreams that night that the line changed and it looked like Morse code and then finally sewing stitches. The next morning I had a little bit of spotting but nothing big and took another test (of course) and again there was a faint line. So, I called the Dr. and they ordered a blood test, she said the spotting might be implantation. I got the results the same day which usually doesn't happen. My hcg level was 6, which means I was a little bit preggers and she told me that it needs to double by Friday. So I called my prayer warriors and gave them their job. I was beaming with excitement and the new life growing. I knew it was early and wanted to wait until Friday's news and hopefully a higher hcg number to make any sort of announcement. Tim talked to my belly as he did with Reagan & Lincoln. It would be a Christmas Miracle...
Well, Thursday morning came and so did my cycle and it wasn't just spotting. I was naturally devastated, but really I didn't have time to cry. I forgot to get the snacks for the kids at our Bible study, I had to get Reagan to school, get myself to Bible study, and we were having an attic door put in.
Today I had another blood test and am waiting back for the results but I'm not expecting it to be higher. I took another home pregnancy test and there was no line. I would love to try again right away but the doctor says we have to wait. I am extremely encouraged that my body has responded, my progesterone was 7 and it hasn't been that high at all during this process.
My friend Vanessa quietly asked me how I was doing, she knew and I told her that it wasn't good. She gave me a sweet hug but I could feel my insides starting to crumble as I felt the love she was giving me...I told her that she was cracking my shell and she said that is what friends are for.
Christmas will still be wonderful and I will cry at the midnight service. Baby Jesus will arrive on Christmas morning to our manger, we will eat warm cinnamon rolls and stay in our pj's all morning, unwrapping, eating, playing and putting toys together. It will be filled with love and sprinkled with Christmas magic.
***Nurse just called my hcg was 2 and my Dr. said that I don't have to wait and can take clomid this cycle. I will have a mid cycle scan and hopefully I will ovulate. She called this a "chemical pregnancy" which doesn't make it feel any better. But am still encouraged.***